RUTLAND SHOCK JOCK TO JUDGE FOXTROT!!!

 

England’s smallest, and some would say dullest, county was shocked this week by news that their very own ‘national treasure’, Rob Persani, is being considered by the BBC  as a Strictly Come Dancing judge this Autumn.

 

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Rutland Radio’s baby-faced presenter was today unavailable for comment, directing all press enquiries to his unpaid agent, Sir Gerry of Burley.  At a hastily convened press conference behind
the Church Street Public Conveniences, Sir Gerry confirmed that Rob was indeed in the running along with other world-class dance masters such as Ed Balls, Ann Widdecombe and John Sargent.  “Many people, have suffered enjoyed Rob’s singing, acting and talent for mimicry, especially his marvellous regional accents,” the well-respected author said.  “Not many however, unless they were invited to his wedding, are aware of his prodigious dancing skills.  Equally proficient in both Latin and Ballroom styles, Rob never fails to turn heads when he’s on the dance floor and I for one can’t think of a better person to take the fourth judge’s position when Darcey Bussell moves up to the Head Judge role.  This will mean that he will have to take time off his regular local broadcasting schedule which will be a great relief disappointment to his massive audience which had looked set to break into double figures in 2017.

This will not be the first time the BBC’s flagship family entertainment show has flirted Capturewith controversy.  A year ago it was slammed by the EU for the flimsy and revealing outfits worn by female dancers, both celebrity and professional.  At that time the the EU’s Minister For Dance, Ivana Güüsestepp, said, “There is absolutely no reason for dances such as the Salsa, the Samba or the Rhumba to be conducted in the sort of skimpy outfits that we are frequently exposed to.  Full body shell-suits are very colourful and attractive as well as easy to dance in and worn with a suitable head-covering would avoid the chances of offending anyone.”  

As the 2016 Strictly competition closed, the show came under fresh pressure when it was revealed that the unplanned elimination of Claudia Fragapane and her professional dance partner A.J. may have been due to Russian hackers, possibly concerned that A.J. had been away from school quite long enough.

Friedrich Nietzsche famously said, “We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.”   Perhaps, like the people of Rutland, the Strictly Come Dancing television audience, surprisingly even larger than that of the Rob Persani Morning Show, will consider  every day lost on which they have not seen Rob ‘Piroutte’ Persani strut his stuff on the Strictly dance floor…

 

 

 

 

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