Previously believed to be extinct, the rare species Fautor Civitatis Coventrium may be able to be saved, say genetic scientists, when the last remaining specimen was discovered in Shanghai, China, this week.
Cases like this are not as uncommon as you might think. Hirō Onoda an Imperial Japanese Army intelligence officer who fought in World War II did not surrender in 1945. but instead spent nearly 30 years holding out in the Philippines. Hirō Onoda did not finally leave the Philippines until 1974 when his former commander traveled from Japan to personally issue orders relieving him from duty.
Jimmy’s self-imposed exile is for entirely different reasons. Unable to live with the shame of being the last remaining Coventry City Football Club supporter, on Earth, he fled to China some years ago in the hope of escaping the notoriety that came with that role. Living under a Chinese pseudonym, apparently attributed to him due to his physical attributes, Wun Hung Lo, as he’s now known lives a quiet and blameless life raking the gravel paths of Shanghai’s major park 他媽的大綠地 and tending his Lotus Blossom Trees. However, Coventry City Football Club is not forgotten, as witness the shrine Wung Hung Lo lovingly maintains on the balcony of his tiny apartment.
Before finally leaving Coventry and cycling on his CCFC sponsored unicycle to China, Jimmy was involved in the controversial move of Coventry back to the Ricoh stadium where, due to low gate numbers it seemed entirely possible that London Wasps would make the decision to replace the ailing club with the national Morris-Dancing team, as it consistently attracted a far larger gate. Fortunately, plans by the EU to ban Morris-Dancing as being too war-like and nationalistic, saved Coventry City at literally the eleventh hour.
Wun Hung Lo, aka Jimmy, has no plans to return to the UK any time soon. “I wouldn’t be able to resist the magnetic pull of the Ricoh Stadium”, the wizened one-time supporter said, hitching up his lungi and laying his rake on top of his wooden wheelbarrow. “I’ve spent too many Saturday afternoons stood in the home stand, outnumbered by my team eleven to one. It’s a lonely place to be.”
“Although things could be worse,” he said as he trudged down the immaculately raked path to replace his rake and wheelbarrow in the community shed. “I could be a Man Utd fan.”