LOVE THE EU! OR ELSE…..

Rutland EU

Following shock revelations over the weekend that British farmers are to be forced to put up EU propaganda billboards or face having grant money clawed back under new regulations;  further indications appear to suggest that the impact may be far wider ranging than only to Britain’s farmers and could result in a glut of EU advertising boards spreading like a rash across the EU Region formerly known as Great Britain.

Officials had already announced that landowners could be slapped with financial penalties for refusing to display permanent advertisements, which must be visible to the public.  Those receiving EU funding of more than £388,000 will be made to erect a 4ft by 6ft billboard, funding of up to £38,825 requires display of a plaque whilst farmers getting up to £7,765 must display an A3 poster, which they have to pay for themselves.

It now seems possible that anyone benefiting from EU largess, over the sum of £1000 will be faced with similar demands as that street eufaced by Britain’s farmers.  And, furthermore, the definition of ‘benefit’ could be very wide-ranging.  To give one concrete example, suburban houses ‘benefiting’ from road upgrading would have to display either election style correx boards, or window boards promoting the positive impact that the EU has had on their neighbourhood.

“We don’t understand why this should pose a big problem for British home-owners,” Ivana Sukyuoff”, Commissioner for Road Signs, told our reporter.  “After all, your streets are already littered with Estate Agency boards, countless notices and unacceptable nationalistic flags.  In contrast, our brightly coloured blue and yellow signs with their positive messages will bring a little happiness to even the drabbest of northern English surburban streets.”DOOR EU

The well-known campaign group, Declutter Our Street Scenes Everywhere Rural (DOSSER), has been vociferous in its opposition to yet another invasion of street furniture cluttering our highways and byways.  However it appears that in an attempt to address this concern the EU will allow the painting of front doors as an alternative to displaying a sign.

Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words…

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