Following the huge success of his overnight stay with British Muslims in Birmingham eight years ago, the Prime Minister is set to further drive home the success of multiculturalism by spending a week at the home of Dă-mi Toate Beneficiile, an occasional rhubarb picker from Bourne, Lincolnshire.
During his stay the PM is expected to learn some new skills starting with selling the Big Issue, the well-known and exciting, ‘ATM Removal using JCB’, church roof lead-stripping and culminating in the most exciting part of the whole week – the ‘Romanian Roll’ where items are removed from HGVs at speeds of up to 80 mph.
The PM’s initial preference was to join the Latvian / Lithuanian community for a week, as an enforcer – Downing Street aides have denied that he was rejected as being ‘too weedy’.
Interviewed by the totally and utterly unbiased BBC as part of their EU funded series, ‘Open Borders. Better For Great Britain’, Dă-mi Toate Beneficiile confirmed that he’d freed up a bedroom for the PM for the night by forcing twelve members of his extended family to sleep in the garage. “It seemed like the least I could do,” he said, adding that he’d also reduce his standard rental rate.
Downing Street insiders have denied that sightings of the Prime Minister working in his local kebab shop have any connection whatsoever with rumours of Turkey’s likely admittance to the European Union. “Lots of people have second jobs in these times of austerity,” said a senior spokesman. “As usual, the Prime Minister is simply leading from the front.”