Is it ‘Hey Noddy… Go’ to the English Morris Dance?

The EU’s Director of Music, Herr Alter Furz, has today strenuously denied rumours that Morris Dancing, along with other European folk dances deemed to be either too overly nationalistic or fundamentally war-like in character, are to be outlawed under EU legislation currently in preparation.

Speaking on EU Radio, Herr Furz said that, at the moment, the Commission was just beginning to look into a number of activities that could be considered to be divisive within the context of a federated Union.  Whilst Morris Dancing had been considered, so too had the French folk dance, L’Oignons Danse Incroyable, the Italian Prosecco Valzer and also Spain’s famous Flamenco, considered to be especially sensitive as it commemorates Spain’s victory over the Moors in 1492. 

Herr Furz has previously chakaourted controversy by proposing that the world-famous Haka has no place on the pitch when the All Blacks play European teams due to it’s ‘war-like and intimidatory nature’.  Leading figures from the world of Rugby, however. quickly pointed out that they, in fact,were not intimidated by the Haka and there was no need for any sort of political intervention from the EU.

Senior officials from English Morris Dance have been quick to point out that if necessary they will take their activity underground, leaving the the EU facing an entire network of clandestine and illegal Morris Dancers the length and breadth of the European Region formerly known as the UK, performing to secretly invited crowds, in much the same way that illegal raves take place today.



  1. Morris Dancing will never die! It is the essence of Englishness. Invented by bands of farmers and yokels in Oxfordshire, the Dances demonstrate speed and prowess against other villages in the noble farming arts. To plough and mow and reap and sow … is not just for Farmers’ Boys! Ney; the Dances were universally adopted, even by those living in deepest Croydon! Yes, the Moresque had been seen in Croydon and well received it was too … especially when a lamp post was climbed by a dozen stout and hearty lads fuelled by ambition and good English ale!

    Herr Furz should be warned. You may take our land, our banks, our Prime Minister (please, please, please, take our Prime Minister), but an EU bureaucrat should never come between a Morris Man and his bells, baldrics, sticks and flailing hankies! To do so would incite revolution in the masses of the Morris Ring and all inhabitants of this Sceptred Isle!

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